🇰🇷🇺🇸 “Wait… holiday stress? Aren’t holidays supposed to be fun?”My American friend’s reaction to Chuseok was absolutely priceless

Chuseok vs American Holiday

 

🎉 Holidays are coming!
Are you excited… or already feeling exhausted?

In Korea, when Chuseok—our version of Thanksgiving—arrives,
many families switch into full-blown stress mode.
And for many daughters-in-law, that means:
non-stop cooking, endless expectations, and a mountain of pressure.

But recently, while explaining this to an American friend,
her reaction completely caught me off guard.

I burst out laughing…
and then paused.
Because what she said?
It made me think.

---

“Wait, holidays are for working?!”

Just a few days before Chuseok, I told her:

“I’m already tired. I have to cook for the whole family,
clean the house, set everything up…”

And she just blinked.

“Hold on. Holidays are supposed to be relaxing!”
“In the U.S., we just eat too much, take naps, and argue over football.”

She couldn’t believe it.
For her, holidays were about
rest, fun, and quality time — not cooking for 12 hours straight.

---

“Wait, you do all the work?”

I told her how, in many Korean households,
women are expected to prepare dozens of traditional dishes,
host and serve the in-laws,
and still smile as if it’s all a joy.

She looked at me, stunned.

“But… who is the holiday really for?”
“If you’re not enjoying it… what’s the point?”

And honestly?
She was right.

Somewhere along the way,
holidays stopped being celebrations—
and became obligations.

---

The good, the bad, and the tiring side of Korean Chuseok

Don’t get me wrong —
Korean holidays have their beauty.

We honor our ancestors,
share meals as a family,
and pass down traditions with love.

But they also come with a cost:
emotional and physical labor that’s not equally shared.

And more often than not,
that burden falls on the women.

---

What if we made Chuseok feel like a real holiday?

I’m not saying we need to do it American-style
— skip the cooking and order takeout (well, maybe sometimes )
But we can share the responsibilities.

What if the whole family cooked together?
What if cleanup was a team effort?
What if rest and joy were part of the plan too?

---

“Holiday stress? That’s not a thing here.”

My friend laughed at the idea of being stressed during a holiday.
And now, that question keeps echoing in my head.

What if we made holidays something we all actually looked forward to?

Here’s to a Chuseok that feels less like a job…
and more like a celebration.